Faith

This morning I read a blog post by a friend who basically went from having everything, to having nothing.  They didn't have clothes, or beds for the kids, or even a home.  They were living in a hotel.  But they never lost faith that things would work out.  I've never known what it is like to not have a home.  My kids have always had enough and more.  In fact, I used to wonder why my life was so easy when so many of my friends and family struggled.  I just chalked it up to marrying well :).  Even now, with everything that is going on in my body, probably things that I don't even know about, or want to know about, I feel blessed.  I have a husband who works so hard and has kept us in our home, even when it seemed impossible at one time.  I have four absolutely amazing children who love me so much.  I have a mom who loves me enough to drop everything to come help me when I really need her.  I have friends and neighbors standing by to do whatever they can to help.  And I have faith.  I have faith that God knows what he is doing.  I have put my life, literally, into his hands.  I know that whatever the outcome is, everything will be okay.  It's been a miracle how everything has worked out.  Here's the story:

To anyone who asked me if I wanted any more kids, the answer was a resounding NO!  I get so sick when I'm pregnant and I felt like I had my hands full with the four I've got.  So, when I found out I was pregnant, I cried.  Not tears of joy.  But, this little baby may have saved my life.  The doctors think that I have a genetic disorder that makes me more likely to develop blood clots than the average person.  They also believe that the pregnancy is what triggered it to happen.  While I was in the hospital, I mentioned to one of my nurses that I was kind of big for only being 11 weeks pregnant, and wondered if maybe there were blood clots somewhere else.  So, they did an ultrasound and discovered that I had a large tumor in my right kidney.  So, this little baby that I didn't want, may have saved my life.  This little baby, that saved my life, may not make it through the surgery.  But...This is where faith comes in.  God knows what he is doing.  He knows what's best and He will give us the strength to make it through whatever happens to be put in our paths.  I know this.  And I'm not afraid anymore.